FR: Alleyway Fun

After seriously considering bailing on the night and calling CherishGirl, Mister J confirms his want to go out. Fuck it.

First venue dead. I pick some girl up for ‘late birthday hugs’ and she freaks out.

The ratio at the second venue is awesome, for Brisbane. A bunch of 4 girls are doing retarded dances around their table.

You guys…. look like more fun…. then ANYONE in this place
We are making fun of those suits!

We pull up seats and inform them that the lawnmower and the shopping trolley are back “in” as top dance moves for 2008. We teach each other a bunch of random moves before I find a buisness card for some lawyer on the table. I laugh at them for getting hit on by seedy old men.

No, No, No! It was here when we got here.
Oh, righto. Pull out phone and dial the number
Oi! Here, take this. Speak!
Who is it
Lawyer dude. Get sexy

She makes a feeble attempt at seducing the sucker on the end of the phone. Poor guy.

He calls back a few times, each time I hand it to a different girl. The last one says

Hey, I wanna add you to myspace and show you pictures of my pussy

HAHAHAHAHAHA. I fucking love this girl, absolute champion. I tell em they are the coolest girls I’ve met in a while (in all honesty). They think I’m bullshitting and I say it to all the girls. Whatever.

Two friends scurry off, leaving me, J, PussyGirl and AlleyGirl. We chat about things guys can get away with during sex (like yelling harder better faster stronger).

I drag AlleyGirl to the d-floor and try to teach her to shuffle, and J takes PussyGirl to the bar. We join up and they say they are leaving to go to the local gay bar.

Internal: Shit! Fuck how to play this. Look around. Hmm there’s a corner.

I grab her by the wrist and drag her behind the corner

You ain’t going anywhere yet

Level 4 makeout.

I tell em I might see them at the gay bar later and bail. Not before demonstarting how to ‘pick up chicks’, by throwing her over my shoulder.

Walking to the next club….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The two girls headed in our direction explode and both try to claim it’s their birthday. Righto. I pick one up for birthday hugs and ask if she’s had her birthday makeout yet.

No… But I have a boyfriend. And I love him very much.

Righto. We spend the next 20 mins in search of solo targets to apocalypse to no avail.

J takes me home. On the drive, I got a text from AlleyGirl asking where her 15 calls were (I had told her I was going to call her 15 times a day until she left the country). Sitting in my room about to go to sleep and I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I went back out solo or went to the gaybar.

Sleep or adventure?

Jump in my car.

Oi we’re going to the (gaybar)!
We are going home now Sorry
Cool talk later x Stay out of trouble you brat

Fuck. Back up plan is to go into the city. As I am pulling into a city carpark:

Hey hussy im no brat. Come to the (gaybar) my friend didnt want you to come LOL

Turn that shit around and back to the gaybar.

There’s only two of them left, after some dancing the final one bails. Its ON.

Let’s get out of here

On the walk to my car she asks where we are going about 7 times. Each time I don’t answer and keep talking rubbish until I finally give in and say Club Pyro.

We get to the car and I wallslam again. She says she can’t come back to mine for a seemingly genuine reason.

Any other night I would, honestly. Worst fucking night for it, ever

I kinda believed her. Whatever.

You don’t want to know the things I’m thinking of doing to you right now
I think I do

Instead I took her to an alleyway and fingerbang her until she almost fell over. Literally. Cunts keep looking down the alleyway to see what the noise is all about, and she fucking loves it. Afterwards, she won’t embrace cock to mouth or fucky fucky. Just as we are finishing up two guys walk down the alleyway and piss a few meters away from us. Thanks dudes. Hot.

Future plans were made. Pretty sure its solid.

I need some fuckin sleep. But work doesn’t allow it.

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