Fatal Flaws

Did you ever see Monty Python’s Meaning of Life, where the dude is getting chased of the cliff by a bunch of topless girls? That’s kind of how I feel right now, except imagine that each of those girls has a fatal flaw that makes them incredibly unattractive, unavailable or off-limits.

I wonder if other people get this or has this been some random sequence of events that has landed me in this spot. I wonder if I have a sign on my head requesting weird, unattractive or off limits girls to attept the otherwise easy manoevure required to land on my cock.

Last night I was getting messages from a girl not 3 meters away from me, demanding I come find her. More precise details were being texted every 2 minutes. They were still fucking terrible directions. What is it with girls and their inability to navigate or guide? Honest to god I would trust instinct over directions from one of them. I could go on forever, but that’s another rant. Anyway, I’m making out with some cutie at the bar (the reason I hadn’t walked the 3 meters yet) cause she was standing behind me, and I want to smack that. Big time.

But other girl has dogged her friends to come find me, and I did get with her a few days ago so I guess I kinda owe her some attention. I’m currently on a self induced 30-day phone numbers ban so I leave BarGirl without digits, smack her on the ass and head over to girl2. I get fucking pounced on and have my face devoured. Her claw of doom is engaged. Honest to god I could not get away from this girl, unless I felt like throwing her ass to the ground and running away before she got a chance to reingage.

I am telling her of have to pick up my best mate from high school from the airport and she still fucking won’t let me go. Only one thing left to try, I honest-to-god use grapple breaking movements that I learned in Zen Do Kai back in the day to break free of this girls grip.

Now this girl is fairly cute so you’re probably thinking whats so bad? And why is this article called fatal flaws? Normally I definitely don’t mind having a girl all over me, but i’ll run you through the conversation when I met this girl.

…
P: Fuck you’re a cool chick, we’re hanging out sometime. (Hand phone, type in 04)
G: Wait wait, you don’t know what I study yet
P: What’s that got to do with it? (hands phone again)
G: Wait guess
P: (most hated degrees I can think of – law, psych and something else)
G: No No No (holds out crucifix on her necklace)
P: Huh?
G: I’m studying to be a deacon.

Guess what that means. Yep, No sex before marriage. My favourite.

I thought what the hell and went out with her a week later cause I thought we’d hang out as friends. Ends up that she’s into me and we make out for a bit. Shortest day2 report ever but it will do.

So there you go, I’d call the whole “no sex before marraige” thing a fatal flaw. I’m not here to kiss and cuddle.

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Next story.

A couple of weeks ago, K and I were choding around a bunch. Eventually I hit a point of utter frustration at myself and dove into a group of 4 girls dancing on a dance floor surrounded by about 10 guys and picked one out.

Double tap, laser eyes and smile, hand out for a spin, pull her in and say “You…. are fucking adorable”

She melts and we are making out within 20 seconds. I drag her over to some couches and my oh my that is a short dress. What else to do but shove my hand up it. It got pretty heated. Lots of “wandering” hands.

A few days later I’m texting and she asks how old I was. After some more texts she finally reveals her real age.

Six-fucking-teen.

Is that ‘fatal flaw’ enough for you?

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I could go on about the hordes of fatties that have thrown themselves at us but I’ll save you the stomach acid.

Then there is the friends friends or ex-girlfriends or whatever, who are off limits due to ‘not wanting to fuck friendships’. Sometimes it hurts.

I have read about when some guys get really good at this they give out a vibe that indicates to the UG’s that it just aint gonna happen. I need to work on cultivating said vibe.

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