Reflections in Time Off

I’m back from my 9 day trip where girls were off limits. Nothing like a good old break to reflect on things and carve up one of the best snow seasons Mt. Hutt has seen. Fuck yeah.

Oh and my 30 day numbers ban is almost finished.

Side note: Even though girls were off limits it didn’t stop me having a crack when the rare opportunity arose (the snow town was like 0.5% hot women). One occasion I got retardedly drunk and busted out the verbal abuse cannon when a girl said anything that slightly annoyed me. Another occasion I got retardedly drunk (seeing a trend emerge?) and smoothness level dropped to “minimum”. OTOH, I had a 4 hour convo with two cuties on the flight over to NZ so I proved to myself that my conversational skills ARE actually there, somewhere.

Anyways, some thinking made me realise I still have a truckload of ego tied up in pulling. “Oh that guys pulls more then me”, “Why is that guy getting that girl he’s a fuckhead”, “oh yes I’m getting laid now I can write a report on the internet to show off to a bunch of guys I’ve never met”.

Fuck that. No more. Who am I in this for?

I’m kinda considering getting a gf at the moment. I can’t see much wrong with having regular sex with a cool, hot girl occasionally in public locations. Why the hell do I care what # of women I’ve slept with? I’m not actively searching for a gf, but if it happens, it happens.

The second big shift I feel I have made is adding some selfishness into my personality. It may be a little dark, but I’m getting pretty frustrated with people. There’s a lot of cunts out there – male and female. If someone is acting like a fucktard early on in the interaction, why would I hang around and waste my time. If my impression of them is bad, I’m out.

Unfortunately right now I can’t do shit because I’m coughing to the tune of shotguns and constantly feel like I’ve been smacked across the head with a big brick, but it’ll pass soon enough.

Gotta get back into the field so I can actually post something potentially helpful….

Oh and also I think I’m ditching the idea of routines. Not only do I tense up at the thought of using them, but I’m way too fucking lazy to write them and figure them out. Watching some flawless natural and reading up on Alex~’s blog has pounded it into my head that routines are completely fucking unnecessary.

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